Just choose a dress that makes you feel confident, cute and sexy. Or confident, sophisticated, and elegant. Or a bit daring. Or comfortable but with a quiet sense of style and dash. You can do it! Whatever your body style.
It seems a cocktail dress is an adult version of that which in my childhood was called a āparty dressā. Worn to social events, not work or church or school. Usually a more fragile material with a design whether full skirted, sheath, sleeved or sleeveless that made you feel special. My favourite cocktail dress from movies is the dress Bette Davis wore in āAll about Eveā with her āfasten your seat beltsā quote. My parents went to many parties where my father wore a suit but my mother wore one of her party dresses. Not formal attire with long skirts and restrained accessories, but flirtier and fun because, after all, cocktails produce that effect.
Anne Fogartyās idea that ācocktail wear can be made of any fabricā¦any styleā instantly brings to mind the evergreen little black dressāand its ability to shift from elegant to edgy with just the right accessories or fabric.
I love how that flexibility invites personal expression: a sleek silk LBD feels timeless, while a bold-textured (velvet, leather, even unexpected knit) version makes a statement. Whatās the most memorable cocktail ensemble youāve wornāor are dreaming of wearingāthat plays with those contrasts?
oh I can just feel the delicious textures in your writing! Itās definitely the dress that Iām wearing in that picture. My friend Janelle upcycled it out of like 5 different dresses, so its AWASH in texture. What about you?
I love that your dress carries the stories of five othersāwhat a beautiful example of renewal and creativity in motion. I imagine each layer holding a memory, a whisper, a texture from another time, stitched together into something wholly its own.
As for me, my ālittle black dressā moments are often less about the garment and more about how it allows me to inhabit myself differentlyāsometimes with quiet elegance, sometimes with bold joy.
Apologies for being pedantic, but Coco Chanel presented a ādropped waistā dress, not a ādrop waistedā dress. One can get wasted in a dropped waist dress, but I donāt think āwaistedā is an actual thing.
I have a LBD that is at least 25 years old. Itās as perfect now as it was when I bought it. I can dress it up or down. It doesnāt wrinkle. It can be worn in winter or summer. What is more perfect than the perfect black dress?
After years of disappointing lbds I had started to think the perfect dress-up/dress-down little black dress was a myth. I hope you appreciate having yours for so long!
The little factoid about people drinking beer instead of water in the past seems to be just a popular myth though. There are some great comments on reddit's r/askhistorians debunking it:
Hah, maybe that's where I've first heard it myself! It's been so many years that I've been following your and your colleagues work (more than a decade).
Thanks for the article and for all of your wonderful work. This might by my favorite podcast.
This is such an interesting commentary. It seems as though many people are "asking for help" socially these days, because there's fewer shared social rules and assumptions. Just yesterday I attended an outdoor wedding where guests were asked to wear medieval fantasy attire (whatever that means), and almost everyone participated on some level. There were some handmade or purchased costumes but most people "shopped from their closets" to put together an eclectic look. And it really did feel like each guest was contributing meaningfully to the production and success of the event. And honestly I think it was a relief to the guests to have a specific, yet open-ended fashion goal.
"In the turn of the last century, the kind of woman who drank cocktails was probably the same kind of woman who was starting to ride bikes and wear bloomers and make noise about wanting to be able to vote. This new 'Drinking Woman' led a busy, active lifestyle, extending beyond the private sphere. Into the 1920s, when a woman could finally find herself able to vote, bike, wear pants, and hold down both a job and social engagements, she would soon realize she needed a flexible, versatile dress for her flexible, versatile day."
How these developments have grown! Women are busier and more productive and more multidimensional than ever. At some point we might even see these changes reflected in measures of their happiness and sense of fulfillment! More work, more yoga, more social engagements, more BUYING STUFF. That's the ticket. Ignore the neuroses and the gnawing feeling of emptiness and disconnection. Any day now...
I vote, bike, wear pants, and hold down both a job and social engagements. I do yoga, because I love stretchy, flexible, meditative grounding. I am intrinsically happy and have a brilliant, fulfilling career. I have hobbies. I have a son who delights me and is a force for justice in our world. I am divorced and single. I have delightful friends. I absolutely love my life, I want for nothing! Thereās no neuroses, or emptiness at all. Youāll probably say Iām narcissistic but in fact my main goal at work is to coach and develop others, as a side gig to keeping an entire agency afloat. If I ever meet a wonderful partner, I will not hesitate to dive in. I may, or may not be wearing a fun or sultry cocktail dress when I do meet that special person, but a flirty cocktail dress *does* bring out my fun side!
Lovely article! Great context for the secret dress code of ācocktail attire!ā
Best cocktail party ever filmed: the opening scene in "Auntie Mame" ā a movie that is wonderful in every way.
I *just* got a wedding invite that wants me to wear a cocktail dress, and Iām going to have a time of it figuring out what to wear.
Just choose a dress that makes you feel confident, cute and sexy. Or confident, sophisticated, and elegant. Or a bit daring. Or comfortable but with a quiet sense of style and dash. You can do it! Whatever your body style.
I ended up wearing a black velvet jumpsuit that was maybe more chic than most of the dresses there. No regrets.
It seems a cocktail dress is an adult version of that which in my childhood was called a āparty dressā. Worn to social events, not work or church or school. Usually a more fragile material with a design whether full skirted, sheath, sleeved or sleeveless that made you feel special. My favourite cocktail dress from movies is the dress Bette Davis wore in āAll about Eveā with her āfasten your seat beltsā quote. My parents went to many parties where my father wore a suit but my mother wore one of her party dresses. Not formal attire with long skirts and restrained accessories, but flirtier and fun because, after all, cocktails produce that effect.
Anne Fogartyās idea that ācocktail wear can be made of any fabricā¦any styleā instantly brings to mind the evergreen little black dressāand its ability to shift from elegant to edgy with just the right accessories or fabric.
I love how that flexibility invites personal expression: a sleek silk LBD feels timeless, while a bold-textured (velvet, leather, even unexpected knit) version makes a statement. Whatās the most memorable cocktail ensemble youāve wornāor are dreaming of wearingāthat plays with those contrasts?
oh I can just feel the delicious textures in your writing! Itās definitely the dress that Iām wearing in that picture. My friend Janelle upcycled it out of like 5 different dresses, so its AWASH in texture. What about you?
I love that your dress carries the stories of five othersāwhat a beautiful example of renewal and creativity in motion. I imagine each layer holding a memory, a whisper, a texture from another time, stitched together into something wholly its own.
As for me, my ālittle black dressā moments are often less about the garment and more about how it allows me to inhabit myself differentlyāsometimes with quiet elegance, sometimes with bold joy.
Apologies for being pedantic, but Coco Chanel presented a ādropped waistā dress, not a ādrop waistedā dress. One can get wasted in a dropped waist dress, but I donāt think āwaistedā is an actual thing.
thank you! hard not to have proof readers :)
I have a LBD that is at least 25 years old. Itās as perfect now as it was when I bought it. I can dress it up or down. It doesnāt wrinkle. It can be worn in winter or summer. What is more perfect than the perfect black dress?
After years of disappointing lbds I had started to think the perfect dress-up/dress-down little black dress was a myth. I hope you appreciate having yours for so long!
That answers a question I didn't know I had!
The little factoid about people drinking beer instead of water in the past seems to be just a popular myth though. There are some great comments on reddit's r/askhistorians debunking it:
https://old.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/ol1h45/deleted_by_user/h5bjn7s/
https://old.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/ykchzh/what_is_the_origin_of_the_medieval_people_drank/
Oh thank you! That's really interesting (and I *really* appreciate your use of the word factoid hahaha)
this information that I recalled from an old episode of 99% Invisible that a colleague reported: https://99percentinvisible.org/episode/fountain-drinks/
Hah, maybe that's where I've first heard it myself! It's been so many years that I've been following your and your colleagues work (more than a decade).
Thanks for the article and for all of your wonderful work. This might by my favorite podcast.
This is such an interesting commentary. It seems as though many people are "asking for help" socially these days, because there's fewer shared social rules and assumptions. Just yesterday I attended an outdoor wedding where guests were asked to wear medieval fantasy attire (whatever that means), and almost everyone participated on some level. There were some handmade or purchased costumes but most people "shopped from their closets" to put together an eclectic look. And it really did feel like each guest was contributing meaningfully to the production and success of the event. And honestly I think it was a relief to the guests to have a specific, yet open-ended fashion goal.
A cocktail dress is what an upscale hooker wears to church.
Oh for an invite that calls for a cocktail dress! Or maybe I should just start wearing one during my nightly cocktail hourā¦carpe cocktailā¦
Turns out ācocktail dressā isnāt about the drinkāitās about the rare freedom to enjoy one. The dress is just the outfit for the occasion.
I love your ācocktail dressā about as much as I loved your article! JRAT ā¦ Iām on the hunt!
why thank you! Janelle's work is so great! You can also find her work in stores like Standup comedy in portland (https://www.standupcomedytoo.com/collections/jrat) or bungeespace in nyc (https://3ssstudios.com/collections/jrat)!
Hi! Alien researcher here documenting Earth's beautiful disasters.
Just dropped Dr. Thool's foreword: he spent years documenting drinking culture across 63 countries while losing all objectivity.
Attempted clinical detachment. Achieved cat ownership.
Worth a read if you enjoy bureaucratic collapse and honest warnings.
https://fieldnotesfromkira.substack.com/p/dr-thools-warning-he-tried-but-stayed šø
"In the turn of the last century, the kind of woman who drank cocktails was probably the same kind of woman who was starting to ride bikes and wear bloomers and make noise about wanting to be able to vote. This new 'Drinking Woman' led a busy, active lifestyle, extending beyond the private sphere. Into the 1920s, when a woman could finally find herself able to vote, bike, wear pants, and hold down both a job and social engagements, she would soon realize she needed a flexible, versatile dress for her flexible, versatile day."
How these developments have grown! Women are busier and more productive and more multidimensional than ever. At some point we might even see these changes reflected in measures of their happiness and sense of fulfillment! More work, more yoga, more social engagements, more BUYING STUFF. That's the ticket. Ignore the neuroses and the gnawing feeling of emptiness and disconnection. Any day now...
I vote, bike, wear pants, and hold down both a job and social engagements. I do yoga, because I love stretchy, flexible, meditative grounding. I am intrinsically happy and have a brilliant, fulfilling career. I have hobbies. I have a son who delights me and is a force for justice in our world. I am divorced and single. I have delightful friends. I absolutely love my life, I want for nothing! Thereās no neuroses, or emptiness at all. Youāll probably say Iām narcissistic but in fact my main goal at work is to coach and develop others, as a side gig to keeping an entire agency afloat. If I ever meet a wonderful partner, I will not hesitate to dive in. I may, or may not be wearing a fun or sultry cocktail dress when I do meet that special person, but a flirty cocktail dress *does* bring out my fun side!
Lovely article! Great context for the secret dress code of ācocktail attire!ā
It also provides many of the best vintage Hollywood movie visuals!